I've always been a glutton for all things self-improvement. It's like an addiction, this strange, never-ending quest to meet my fullest potential. And just like any well-written story, it's been my ever elusive MacGuffin — the driving force of my very own plot.
When I started working for myself, I felt this "addiction" ramp up tenfold. After fifteen stilted and agonizing years of corporate enslavement, I found myself in full control of my life for the very first time. No more waking up at 4:30 AM to write. No more hastily exercising at the gym after I got off work. No more avidly detesting (and protesting!) Mondays.
Now — twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week — I have full control of my existence, yet my goals aren't being met. I'm still perpetually behind schedule. I'm still groping for traction and can't seem to make progress in any aspect of my life.
Ironically, despite having more freedom and flexibility than ever, I have been less productive than ever before. But I think I've finally figured this out. When I started working for myself, and my schedule all of a sudden opened up, so did my (deeply unrealistic) understanding of what I'm capable of doing on a day-to-day basis. I thought that because I could work twelve hours a day, I would be able to do that regularly — when in reality, I've had to learn the hard way that even if I'm working for myself, at home, in my pajamas, I still only have eight to ten hours of mental bandwidth to produce quality work.
Which is why I'll be making some changes. Not only in life, but as an editor, as an author, and on Patreon, it's time I do better — and in order to do better, that means being more specific and realistic about the projects I take on.
I'm beginning by taking a step back from editing. As most you likely know, I have closed my editing company to new clients. This was my first step in the right direction, but my next will be to take on fewer editing clients a month going forward, and shifting that focus to writing, publishing, and my presence on Patreon! :)
This year has been a wild one. Between a house fire in January, adjusting to a semi-nomadic life living in a camper, embracing minimalism, falling deeper into spirituality, and at long last finding a sense of balance in my self-employed existence, I can honestly say that 2020 hasn't been all that bad. It's just been a bag full of big change.
Cheers to the new changes on the horizon! It's very, very good to be back! <3