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My Road to the Other Side

Updated: Aug 13, 2020

I woke up this morning the way I always do: at 6:00 AM, half-tangled in a nest of too many pillows and blankets, with the glow of a new day staunched by curtains. With a sweep of my arm, I allow the daylight inside, and get straight to business.

A full mason jar of water and lemon, followed by a mug of piping-hot bulletproof coffee. I've got a new day ahead, ripe with possibilities, and the luxury of working for myself. My clients are truly the best in existence. My calendar is jam-packed with projects. My sequel is almost finished, and it's some of the best work I've ever put forth. And to put the cherry on top of the sundae that has become my life, my man and I finally found the perfect property to call our own. We've bought it and are drawing up the blueprints to our dream tiny house.

My life is spectacular. My life is everything I've ever wanted. Which is interesting, because for the vast majority of my life, my ideal "future" revolved around being traditionally published. That was when my career would begin. That was when I'd be my happiest. But now, as I enjoy the absolute freedom that is self-publishing and collaborating with authors as an editor, my ideal future has all of a sudden shifted. My ideal future has all of a sudden become now.

They say that if you want long-lasting change, you've got to stop planning to change, and simply start changing. The moment you alter today, you subsequently alter tomorrow—and that means, ultimately, altering the future itself.

Being an Indie author has taught me that resting my ideal future in the hands of strangers, who aren't interested in talent as much as they are trend, as a faulty approach. Working full-time as an editor has taught me that I'm not just in love with writing—I'm in love with the written word itself, the very magic that is fiction.

And after everything the last five years has offered—be it divorce, depression, self-ridicule, house fires, job loss, going broke, eating disorders, self-isolating—I never stopped laughing, striving for the happiness I'd lost along the way, facing the monsters that chased me into the dark and tried to convince me to stay there.

I don't say as a means of self-congratulatory vanity, but rather as a reminder to myself that life is not something that happens to us, it's something that happens for us. I would do it all again, and again, and again.

So, now that my future's arrived, it's time to start changing today.

Where will I go next?

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